My husband had never been to Austria. The kids were grown and on their own and we finally decided to take a trip back to see family members. I was excited to show him my home town. Just picturesque this time of year and we certainly were enjoying good food, drink and laughter.
Time past quickly and soon enough we were back on the plane to Los Angeles. As everyone knows this is a long, long journey – thirteen hours without touching the ground. I’m one of those people that can’t sleep on the plane; my neurotic sense of control compels me to fly the aircraft in case of emergency.
So here we were, cramped in the seats of American Airlines, tired and waiting to reach our destiny, with a couple of hours to go. Suddenly we saw four men of Middle Eastern descend roaming the aisles. Our seats were toward the back of the plane, right in front of an emergency exit.
Mind you, 9/11 had not happened yet, and race or skin color was not an issue at the time. We only noticed them because they kept walking up and down the gangway several times always staring and glaring. After a few minutes three of them disappeared,the fourth stepping behind us, discretely trying to open the exit door. I nudged my husband and we both observed the man testing the flap. My stomach was in a knot. I waved at the stewardess and explained my concern. She sat down for a few
minutes allowing her to observe the actions of the man. She agreed with my uneasiness and asked him to please stop. He frowned at her and moved to the other side of the plane, pushing the opposite door. The Stewardess again gave him a warning, and he left.
As everyone knows 9/11 happened 2 months later and after hearing the devastating news it all made sense. I’m not sure how many planes were tested this way by terrorists, but I knew that we had been blessed. Safely we landed.
I never flew again. It’s been eleven years and thinking about it still makes me wonder what ‘if’? All of this talk about affirmations and right thinking is great and beneficial. But when you are in the midst of terror and something occurs that evokes a huge amount of fear in you, all of the knowledge and right reason goes right out the window. All your good intentions disappear.
However, when you are ready to conquer a fearful disposition the sign will appear, and so it happened that I am challenged to work out this sense of anxiety this very year. My son is getting married. Out of all places they chose Washington DC as their home base and I am pressed to fly into this city with the greatest threat potential of all. This is how life and the Universe work. Face your fears, affront them, reason them out, and conquer them, or you will be pushed into a situation that will test you even worse.
Dealing with your fears is very important, and I am in general very good in all other aspects of life. I am courageous and not fearful at all. Before this incident I had been
traveling all over the world and loved to fly.
I want to allow myself to fly again.
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